Palmer Turned One! (a while ago)

Well hello, dear readers! I'm sure all four of you have been dying for me to tell you about the haps these days. You're probably thinking, "Remember how you wrote three posts in a row at the end of last summer and then completely stopped?" Yeah, I remember. That's what I do!

So I thought I should finally post about Palmer's birthday, since it was over half a year ago. We were at the end of a long (and unsuccessful) summer of sales and Palmer's birthday was just three days before we moved back to Utah. Money was short, time was short, and my creativity was sorely lacking. I figured I'd go all out for my baby's first birthday, but when it got down to it, living in California meant there was no one around to celebrate with! I was a little bummed, but when it turned out that my sister would be visiting I found my inspiration! As a theme I chose...San Francisco!

Gifts for a one-year-old are easy. In fact...all we gave him was this little walker/scooter. Obviously he was thrilled :)

As per our theme I planned a party at Golden Gate Park. We ended up doing the cake smash at Crissy Field though, because that view--incomparable. I made Palmer a chocolate banana cake with whipped cream frosting and a candy Golden Gate Bridge. For the rest of us there were cupcakes with cream cheese frosting, sprinkles, and candy trolly toppers :) I'll pretend like it was no big deal now...but I'm dang proud of those cake toppers. Aren't I creative??

 (The blue at the bottom of the cake is supposed to be the ocean. Go with it.)

 Palmer was SO excited...

And, a picture of me, because this is after all, my masterpiece. The cake and the kid :)

Ok, so in reality, Palmer had absolutely no idea what to do with the cake sitting in front of him. Now, dried spaghetti on the floor, bugs, lint, all these things he eagerly shoves into his little mouth. But my cake...he was clearly dubious about. The bridge caught his attention and we got him to take a few bites, but he really hated the feeling of frosting on his fingers :)

And obviously, the cake plate was far more interesting than the cake itself.

I don't have photographical evidence of the rest of the evening because both our phones died and we had no charger, but we had so much fun! We went to Golden Gate Park and played at the playground for a few hours while we waited for our pizza to be delivered (aside: the pizza came way late, was the wrong kind, and was cold! Poor Tana and Jaron were so bummed because they'd heard raves about this place...but hey, Palmer still liked it! ;). Palmer and Desmond took turns pushing his new scooter around until dark, and then we all headed back to the hotel for the night.

And that was it! The day passed so quickly. But it was a perfect way to say farewell to our city by the bay and to capture what that summer meant to us. I love that we'll always have these memories that so epitomized that time in our lives! Yay for Palmer and yay for San Francisco :)

Read to Me

Lately Palmer and I have had a lot of reading time, thanks in large part to Nana (my mom) giving him a bunch of new books for his birthday!

I love sitting down with him on my lap and reading him a story or two. He points to the pictures and turns the page when it's time.

This past week he's also loved taking his turn reading to me. After I finish a book, he flips it back open and starts jabbering while he strokes the pages. I ate it up the first few times, but then my mind wandered to all the things I could be getting done instead of sitting there. I knew if I left him there to read on his own he would happily entertain himself for a few more minutes, and those moments of un-interrupted cleaning are rare.

But then I thought about how beautiful a thing it is to sit and listen to my son. I want him to talk to me his whole life long, knowing that I will always listen. I've often pondered how I can make sure Palmer knows I love him and am there for him, and the answer is to be there now.

Yes, he's just a baby. And I doubt that he'll remember me holding him while he reads to me. But I felt the spirit whisper to me that he will remember the feeling of being listened to if I continue to do this. And how wonderful will it be for him to one day say to himself that he cannot remember a time when I wasn't there for him.

After all, that's what this is all about. That's why I'm a stay-at-home mom. Because I am going to be there for him, from the beginning to the end. What a gift in both our lives that is.

Sunday Evening (9-20-2015)

We had another banner week. Truly one for the books. San Francisco has never been hit harder. But since I only have half my photos (Tana has the other half) and there are approximately a thousand of them to weed through before posting, you'll have to hear about all that later. For now, here's what I got:

The world is big, and beautiful, and fascinating, and fun. Exploring it is exciting. There's so much to see and do and learn about out there. I love it. 

But there's no better feeling than home. 

I've learned this year that home can be anywhere. It can be St. George, Utah, or Rexburg, Idaho, or San Ramon, California, or Antioch or Grantsville. The key component is my husband and son. 

I love my extended family. I miss my brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews and Mom and Dad. But as much as I miss them, I'd rather be on the other side of the world with Derek and Palmer than be with the rest of them without those two. 

They are my home now. We could live anywhere (don't worry, Mom, we're still going to land in St. George!), with any career path, and as long as I had them I would be home. 

How blessed am I to have that? 

Pretty darn. 

So happy Sunday, my friends (and stalkers). I hope you're enjoying your home today. 

We'll just be over here soaking up our spazziness. 

Post-Party Depression

Post-Party Depression. We've all been there, right? Family and friends come, you have a blast doing exciting things for a couple of days, and then the moment they leave you get a sinking feeling in your heart because it's over. 

We had SO much fun with Dalton and Dee Ann this week! It was perfect. Life isn't perfect, but parts of it are. When family is around...it's mostly perfect. 

On Tuesday afternoon Derek and Palmer and I drove into the city to meet Mom and Dalt at the Pier. They ended up  taking about an hour longer than we thought, so we wandered around Ghirardelli Square for a while:

Then we went down to this cute little beach called Aquatic Park Beach. It's perfect for little kids because the Bay waves are tiny compared to out on real ocean beaches, and the water is warmer since it's shallow. Derek and I didn't come prepared to get wet, but we got in a little with Palmer because it was so nice! (My "little" turned into a lot when I was crouched over pointing out a seagull to buddy boy and a slightly taller wave decided to come and make it look like I had a major accident in my jeans.) Luckily it was the warmest day we've ever experienced in San Fran, so we dried pretty quickly!

(The only reason Palmer isn't grinning his head off at this particular moment is because Derek is making him hold still for a picture. It was really difficult to keep that kid out of the water!)

When Dalton and Mom finally got there we got Palmer cleaned up (TIP! We learned the coolest thing online the other day and it actually works!! To get all the sand off without a bath, rub baby powder all over and it takes it right off, leaving them soft and dry! It was AMAZINGLY effective) and headed to dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. It had a beautiful view out into the Bay which we tried to get in tha background of some pics...but it ended up just washing them out. 

After dinner we headed down to see the sea lions at the pier. It was getting dark by this time, but we caught some amazing views. 

Then we headed up the pier to window shop--or in Mom's case, actually shop (and buy us chocolates!) She bought Palmer the cutest little bear, who we named Pierre Francisco Allen...perhaps a little unoriginal, but I actually love the name Pierre for a bear :)

Here's a picture of Dalton pretending to pretend to enjoy the musical steps:

In actuality, you know he was all about those steps. 

Derek actually did a pretty good job playing heart and soul and gathered a little crowd! I only got a partial video...right when he jumped to the wrong note. 

The next day we took a little trip to Monterey. 

Monterey is the perfect beach town. We've been to Santa Cruz several times this summer because we like the beaches there, but as far as the town goes it's kind of a little too surfer guy/party girl for me. The boardwalk looks like fun if you don't have kids but...we do...so it wasn't our favorite atmosphere. But Monterey is such a cute little town with beautiful sandy beaches AND rocky shores. The shops are fun, and it's nice and clean and relaxed. Very chill, just like a beach town should be. We didn't get to go to the aquarium, but there's a really cool overlook where you can see all the birds and sea lions and seals swimming and diving for fish. We stayed there for half an hour, it was so fun! 

(Contrary to all appearances, Palmer really does love Uncle Dalton...)

We had a yummy lunch and then went window shopping. Palmer and I also did a little modeling...

In the afternoon we hit the beach. And I had probably my biggest #momfail of Palmer's life. Other than the time when he was learning to sit up and I didn't catch him in time to stop his nose from slamming into the tile and bleeding...or when he was sitting in the bumbo on the kitchen floor and fell out...or when I spanked him for biting me then spent the next two days in tears because I'm THE WORST. Anyways...he was having a blast splashing in the waves and crawling around. And I thought, hey, we're far enough back that these waves won't splash his face if I let him just sit here when they come. He was doing great so I let go of him just for a second to see what he would do. He started towards the water right as a wave came and it completely knocked him over!! It was so scary. Honestly it was probably only half a second before I was picking him up, but in that half-second he was so scared and I felt so bad. He's such a sweet kid and he only let out one little cry before popping his thumb into his mouth and cuddling up next to me, but I felt terrible. So I took him to his grandma for safe-keeping :) She was so nice to look after him so that I could get all the way in the ocean for the first time in years!! I had been looking forward to that all summer. Dalton and Derek and I had so much fun body surfing just past the break. I only almost drowned once, so all in all it was a pretty successful day! There's something so amazing about being out in the water knowing that the next wave, if you don't hit it just right, could knock you to the ocean floor and keep you spinning head over heels over and over again. It's thrilling and terrifying and truly awesome. I love the ocean. Even when I'm inhaling mouthfuls of nasty seawater. 

After the beach we grabbed a quick dinner and made the two and a half hour drive home. I think it's safe to say we wore Palmer out that day...

On Thursday we decided to have a relaxing day in Antioch. We had breakfast at the hotel, and Palmer tried his first pear. 

After breakfast we came back to the apartment and Mom napped while Dalton helped me make crepes for our lunch. In the afternoon we went swimming while Derek did some work from home and stayed with Palmer during his nap. Dalton and I played catch with a nerf football in the pool...and now my arm is killing me. Because I'm a total wimp. 

In the evening we decided that Mom needed to indulge in some red meat while she was away from Dad, so we took a half hour drive to Tracy and went to Texas Roadhouse. Palmer only ate three bites of his mac and cheese, but he was all about those lemons!

After dinner we all came to the apartment to say our goodbyes. My family is too good, because I miss them every time they leave!! Even though we'll be moving in with them in less than two weeks, my heart was sad to see them go. Derek prescribed a foot rub and an episode of Hogan's Heroes to lift my mood before bed, and it totally worked. Thank heavens for husbands! 

And thank heavens I only had one day of no partying. As we speak I am about ten minutes away from meeting Tana in the city! So I'm off to paint the town--hope you have a wonderful weekend!! 

(Disclaimer: I just want to say that I'm not trying to make light of postpartum depression in the slightest. I didn't truly experience PPD with Palmer, but what I did experience in the first six weeks of his life emotionally was scary, and the hardest thing I've ever been through. I can't imagine the hurt that comes with postpartum depression, and my heart goes out to anyone and everyone dealing with it.)

Let's Get This Party Started!

Today marks the beginning of the end of summer celebration! 

But first...look at my cute little family at the pool yesterday:

I love these guys!!

So anyways...today we are picking up Derek's mom and younger brother Dalton from the airport! Have I mentioned how much I love the Allens? Like, seriously...I need everyone to know that I couldn't possibly have married into a better family. For those who don't know, Derek has eight siblings (beating me by one! dang it). They are some of my best friends in the world! Someday I'll tell you all about each one of them, but since Dally is coming today, I'll just confess that he's my favorite ;) 

And my parents-in-law??? Guys. They're so so amazing. I have felt 100% a part of this family since before Derek and I were even married. I CANNOT wait to see my second mom. 

Which brings me to an announcement... we're moving in with the Allens in two weeks! Ok, so I know that for most people, moving in with the in-laws would be dreaded. But not for me. It helps to know that we'll kind of have our own space in their ginormous house. And to know that it's only until New Year's. But truly, I am so excited to be with them! Not only will Palmer get to finally see his grandparents more, all four of Derek's older siblings also live in Grantsville...his younger sister lives in Provo...and his two younger brothers live in Salt Lake! The only person not around is the baby of the family, Hannah, because she's serving a mission in Ohio. (P.S. I miss you Han Banan! Like crazy). But basically it's going to be one big non-stop Allen party, and I can't wait! 

PLUS...guess who else lives in Salt Lake? My older siblings Spencer and Tana and their families! This will be the first time since I left for school three years ago that I am this close to any of my family!

So we're celebrating the end of a crazy California summer first with a visit from Mom and Dalton...and then the very day they leave, my sister Tana and her little family will arrive in San Francisco! You best believe we're going to be seeing sights and hitting beaches for ten days! 

Pretty much...my life is awesome. You'll hear all about it later this week! And then watch for an update on what I've been doing all summer...complete with an overload of Palmer pictures :) 

Labor Day

It's Labor Day!! Did you sleep in? Are you off to the lake/beach?!

I didn't sleep in. Because...Palmer. 

Bless that little tyke, he got up at 6:57 this morning. The kid has no concept of weekends or holidays, except the occasional Sunday when he decides to snooze an extra two hours and make us late for church. 😳🙈

We're also not hitting the beach today, due to the van needing a $2500 repair (😭) and the car being out of gas and us being poor. Plus, Derek totally has to work today! Such is the summer sales life. 

But guess what was awesome about this morning? Derek let me take a bath in complete peace, and I sat in there for half an hour cyber-stalking my internet pal MaLyn! 

Here's the story...I actually don't even know her, you guys. This is going to be embarrassing because I'm revealing my creeper tendencies! But I became Facebook friends with her when I joined her awesome group Mom Club. This group is full of so many amazing moms with diverse backgrounds, religious beliefs, etcetera. I have come to love so many of these women as they share their heartaches, joys, and plain old ridiculous mom-life experiences. There is such a sense of camaraderie between mothers because we all know what it's like to turn our hearts and lives over to a tiny human. Anyway, MaLyn is the administrator of this group and is always posting fun challenges for us and encouraging us to make the most of life, but also to be real about what we go through each day. Her blog centers on "real life mom life", and reading it over the past month or two has been so inspiring to me! She makes me want to blog for reals, and talk about the good, the bad, and the STINKY of life as a parent. 

So there you have it. My obsession with online stalking has been exposed. MaLyn is probably off to the police station to get a cyber-restraining order as we speak, but before she does let me direct you to her blog so you can join in the fun. Head on over to malynlogic.com. You'll love it, I promise!

P.S. Don't worry about us not going to the lake--we're definitely hitting up the apartment complex pool this afternoon, because my California tan is sadly nonexistent. And what's the point of even being in California without getting tan?🏊🏼 Happy Labor Day, friends! 

Mother

A thousand memories of my mom have been flooding my brain today. I'm not sure why. Probably because I miss her. Probably because I find my daily life as a mother increasingly demanding. This gig gets better and harder every single day. I can only imagine what it must be like when you add seven more kids into the mix. 

So I start to imagine. And I think, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" But really. How could you possibly have time to love each child as an individual and be sure that they felt that love? And how could you keep your sanity?

I think my mom would answer that she hasn't kept hers. Her nickname isn't psycho-babe for nothing. 

We like to joke about it. How she was a lot more laid back than your average Pinterest mom. And I start to think that maybe she didn't do all these little special things you see moms doing today. Maybe she just...survived. And made sure we did too. 

But that's not true. 

How many times in elementary school did I find a note in my lunchbox? How many times did I call her from school saying I forgot my violin, or my assignment, or, yes, my whole stinking backpack? She always answered and she always brought me whatever I needed. Because she always answered, I also called from the school phone when I was having a crappy day. Sometimes she said to stick it out, but usually she just arranged a time to come get me so that I could have a "mental health" day. 

Once, when I was 8 years old, Mom and Dad and the baby (Lawson) went on a trip back east to see Mom's family. They were going to be gone for a week. My older siblings were all big enough to stay at home together without them, but my younger brother and I were sent to Grandma's house. I cried my eyes out thinking of all the fun I would miss at home, but mostly I cried because I wanted my mommy. But do you know what that mother of eight did? In addition to preparing to leave five kids in one house, pack two kids suitcases for their Grandma's, and get ready for a flight with  an eight month old? She wrote me a note for every day that she would be gone. She attached each note to a special present that corresponded with her trip. I don't remember all of them, but I remember that on the first day the note said that they'd be flying to Georgia, and sometimes on planes they give out free peanuts, so Taylor and I got a can of honey roasted peanuts. I also remember that she got me a stuffed animal, and that she packed up our special Flinstone vitamins to eat every day. She left little scavenger hunts at the house for the older kids too, as well as money for a fun dinner one night. How on earth did she make time to do all that?

At night she would read to anyone who wanted to listen. I honestly don't remember her ever saying no when I asked her to read a book. We read the Little House on the Prairie series, the Chronicles of Narnia, and dozens more that escape my memory at the moment. She read with us for school of course too. I recently happened upon a 1st grade reading journal that gave me crazy flashbacks--in this journal, after reading together every afternoon, my mom would write an entry saying what parts of the book she liked, thought were funny, wondered about, etc. and then she wrote a question or two for me to answer. I know it was for school--but I also know it was sincere. I loved doing those journals with my mom, and I can't imagine how she had the patience and found the time to do that with me when she had at least four teenagers, a tween, and a toddler running around--and, I think, another baby coming. But she did. I always attribute my love of reading to my mother, and I dream of being as well-read and well educated as she is. 

My mom made everything special for each of us kids as individuals as well as promoting crazy sibling bonding and family loyalty. Birthdays were a huge deal, and not because we had a lot of money or extravagant parties. I don't think my mom ever crafted sugar flowers to top my cupcakes. But it was all about ME on my birthday. I was sung to at breakfast. Taken out to lunch during school. Had a dinner and cake of my request, a party with the family, and a party with my friends if I wanted it. 

And speaking of sugar flowers...she may never have made those, but she made so many other cool treats with and for us. We had a book of cool cake designs and I specifically remember making at least the school bus, the train yard, and football field cakes. Cooking with my mom was one of my favorite things to do. She let me eat the frozen pepperoni as we helped her top pizzas. Never said no to a request for some cookie dough. Taught me to make peanut butter playdough and not to over mix muffin batter and that bananas were perfect for bread when the peel was completely brown. 

She used to take me with her in the summer to do her laps at the pool. She always invited us on grocery trips. There was a "mommy and me" time every week and we were on rotation--so every time my turn came around it was exciting to see what we could come up with to make that time special. She continues that tradition with her grandchildren who live in town, and I know how much they love to make cards and go scavenging at DI and just hang out with their crazy, fun Nana. 

My mom obviously taught me a lot of other things. So many important things like temple and church attendance, that family came before friends, to obey and respect and be kind--all of the things a good mother teaches her children. But my point is that somehow, she managed to go above and beyond. I don't know how she did it, but I'm forever grateful for her example. I love you mom, and if I could ever be half the mom you are, I think my kids will be pretty dang lucky.