A thousand memories of my mom have been flooding my brain today. I'm not sure why. Probably because I miss her. Probably because I find my daily life as a mother increasingly demanding. This gig gets better and harder every single day. I can only imagine what it must be like when you add seven more kids into the mix.
So I start to imagine. And I think, "Ain't nobody got time for that!" But really. How could you possibly have time to love each child as an individual and be sure that they felt that love? And how could you keep your sanity?
I think my mom would answer that she hasn't kept hers. Her nickname isn't psycho-babe for nothing.
We like to joke about it. How she was a lot more laid back than your average Pinterest mom. And I start to think that maybe she didn't do all these little special things you see moms doing today. Maybe she just...survived. And made sure we did too.
But that's not true.
How many times in elementary school did I find a note in my lunchbox? How many times did I call her from school saying I forgot my violin, or my assignment, or, yes, my whole stinking backpack? She always answered and she always brought me whatever I needed. Because she always answered, I also called from the school phone when I was having a crappy day. Sometimes she said to stick it out, but usually she just arranged a time to come get me so that I could have a "mental health" day.
Once, when I was 8 years old, Mom and Dad and the baby (Lawson) went on a trip back east to see Mom's family. They were going to be gone for a week. My older siblings were all big enough to stay at home together without them, but my younger brother and I were sent to Grandma's house. I cried my eyes out thinking of all the fun I would miss at home, but mostly I cried because I wanted my mommy. But do you know what that mother of eight did? In addition to preparing to leave five kids in one house, pack two kids suitcases for their Grandma's, and get ready for a flight with an eight month old? She wrote me a note for every day that she would be gone. She attached each note to a special present that corresponded with her trip. I don't remember all of them, but I remember that on the first day the note said that they'd be flying to Georgia, and sometimes on planes they give out free peanuts, so Taylor and I got a can of honey roasted peanuts. I also remember that she got me a stuffed animal, and that she packed up our special Flinstone vitamins to eat every day. She left little scavenger hunts at the house for the older kids too, as well as money for a fun dinner one night. How on earth did she make time to do all that?
At night she would read to anyone who wanted to listen. I honestly don't remember her ever saying no when I asked her to read a book. We read the Little House on the Prairie series, the Chronicles of Narnia, and dozens more that escape my memory at the moment. She read with us for school of course too. I recently happened upon a 1st grade reading journal that gave me crazy flashbacks--in this journal, after reading together every afternoon, my mom would write an entry saying what parts of the book she liked, thought were funny, wondered about, etc. and then she wrote a question or two for me to answer. I know it was for school--but I also know it was sincere. I loved doing those journals with my mom, and I can't imagine how she had the patience and found the time to do that with me when she had at least four teenagers, a tween, and a toddler running around--and, I think, another baby coming. But she did. I always attribute my love of reading to my mother, and I dream of being as well-read and well educated as she is.
My mom made everything special for each of us kids as individuals as well as promoting crazy sibling bonding and family loyalty. Birthdays were a huge deal, and not because we had a lot of money or extravagant parties. I don't think my mom ever crafted sugar flowers to top my cupcakes. But it was all about ME on my birthday. I was sung to at breakfast. Taken out to lunch during school. Had a dinner and cake of my request, a party with the family, and a party with my friends if I wanted it.
And speaking of sugar flowers...she may never have made those, but she made so many other cool treats with and for us. We had a book of cool cake designs and I specifically remember making at least the school bus, the train yard, and football field cakes. Cooking with my mom was one of my favorite things to do. She let me eat the frozen pepperoni as we helped her top pizzas. Never said no to a request for some cookie dough. Taught me to make peanut butter playdough and not to over mix muffin batter and that bananas were perfect for bread when the peel was completely brown.
She used to take me with her in the summer to do her laps at the pool. She always invited us on grocery trips. There was a "mommy and me" time every week and we were on rotation--so every time my turn came around it was exciting to see what we could come up with to make that time special. She continues that tradition with her grandchildren who live in town, and I know how much they love to make cards and go scavenging at DI and just hang out with their crazy, fun Nana.
My mom obviously taught me a lot of other things. So many important things like temple and church attendance, that family came before friends, to obey and respect and be kind--all of the things a good mother teaches her children. But my point is that somehow, she managed to go above and beyond. I don't know how she did it, but I'm forever grateful for her example. I love you mom, and if I could ever be half the mom you are, I think my kids will be pretty dang lucky.
